Oh, God, I still remember my first conflict with my line manager….
In the beginning he seemed to be the perfect line manager; a real professional, but… he fell “in love” with his secretary and lost his mind. That is when he started being absent minded.
The day I told him his affair was affecting his professional decisions, is the day my torture began… After a while I was constantly putting myself and my professional ability under a huge question mark… Until the day I had enough… I analysed the situation, balanced what I was losing, practiced damage control and …went for it.
Picture this: Me and him in an empty stinky conference room. I played all my cards, spit out all the venom and I was as calm as the Blue Lagoon in a sunny spring day. He was dressed in his usual brown super smart suit and I was wearing a large fluffy T-shirt, with gangsta jeans and comfy trainers.
I could see him talking, but all that I could hear was bla bla bla.
“Alex, I was not expecting such a behaviour from you. You are a machiavellic bitch!
Oh, well, if you say so boss… I guess I am. Do you have a problem with that? Sorry but I have a flight to catch!”.
I stood up and started laughing like a maniac, whilst he was boiling like a lobster. Yes, I realized at that point I was being machiavelic, as he called me, but I was definitely not a bitch; so… I left the poor animal and rushed to the airport for a well-deserved three weeks holiday in Greece.
Years went by and I got wiser.
Trust me, the best way to win from a conflict is to avoid it! But if you had enough and all the cells in your body tell you that you must react, DO IT!
Long story short you have three ways to engage in a conflict with your line manager.
1. The run.
Leave. Just leave or hit and run. Just say what you have to say and resign. Generally, in this position you are a looser. Yes, it is true, you do not have to stand your boss every given day, but you loose not only your job but also your colleagues and eventually your self-esteem.
Yes, leaving a company is like a divorce. People take sides and since you are the one leaving, though initially they might be on your side, they end up by supporting your line manager.
Cherry on top, once you left, you cannot control the gossip anymore and you might end up being classed as a “bad employee”.
The only way you could actually win from such a strategy is by being ready to start another job just the day after you left. But even so, are you sure you can completely turn the page and concentrate on a new beginning?
2. The network.
Engage in a direct conflict. Say what you have to say, but do not resign. Be ready to support the consequences.
If you speak up in a wise way he/she might actually listen to you and change their behaviour, hence you must understand that this change is generally not long term. This means you will constantly have to fight and speak up until the day you either have enough or you become an “inconvenient asset”.
My advice is to make sure that you have enough influential persons ready to die for you before you engage in any kind of direct conflict. If you do not have enough long term influence they may do.
3. The puppy dog.
Just don’t engage in any direct conflict. Say as they say do as you want and whenever it comes to having great results because of your wise decisions… praise them not yourself. If your line manager is wise enough he/she will realise you were right and they were wrong. In this case they may decide to trust you and give you peace or consider you as a threat as you are smarter than him/her. If you feel they start seeing you as a threat, then apply one of the first two solutions.
All this being said…. Just remember : “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” William James
